Lunar Surface Journal - Part 1 - Suiting up for Moonwalking

Author: CaptainNemo
Title: Lunar Surface Journal - Suiting up for Moonwalking
Date: 12 May 2013

Lunar Surface Journal - Suiting up for Moonwalking

[Apollo 22 NG Lunar Module “Romeo” has touched down at 110:45:12 as scheduled, only slightly off course, near the planned landing site at Descartes Highlands. After a rest of 07:30 hours, Mission Commander (CDR) Dennis Anthony Walker Jr. (32) and Lunar Module Pilot (LMP) Aaron Kevin Jones (28) are preparing for their first moonwalk. Both are space rookies, who will be exposed to the space environment in a pressure suit for their first time.

The astronauts are through Lunar Surface Checklists 2-2 and 2-3. They have already donned their Medical Sensor Harness (MSH) and their Liquid Cooled Undergarment (LCG). Prior to donning the pressure suits, they are now preparing their Urine Collection Devices (UCD). Each UCD consists of a rubber condom and a plastic tube which will later be connected to a small tank integrated in the pressure suit.]

116:52:05 Dennis: (Unaware that he has a hot mike) Okay. (EVA-1) cuff checklist. Man, I’m so hard, can’t get that rubber thing on, you know.

116:52:20 Aaron (Unaware that VOX channels are open all the time): Yeah. Same problem for me.

116:52:35 Dennis: Why did they give us those small UCD condoms ? (garbled) They should know that we have to retain our juices all the time during the outbound flight.

116:53:00 Aaron: Let’s relax and calm down for a second. Look out there. Imagine how much fun we both will have, out on the surface of the moon!

116:53:20 Dennis: Oh Boy, that’s my problem. Knowing that I’m finally about to become a full-suited moonwalker makes me so hard.

116:53:35 Aaron: Maybe we have something in common. In training, I was regularly fighting against a hard-on when I suited up, too.

116:53:48 Dennis: Man, I can understand you.

116:54:00 Aaron: For me, it will become critical when I get my helmet and my gloves on. I guess it will get worse when my suit is pressurized.

116:54:24 Dennis: Yeah.

(Pause)

116:56:11 Dennis: I’m in at last! Very snugly feeling down there.

116:55:23 Aaron: Me too. Love that. My little pee-pee is ready for his moonwalk. He even has his own pressure suit!

116:55:32 Dennis: Don’t forget to apply that Velcro strap to hold down the loose end of your UCD tube. Otherwise your condom might be pulled off when you get into your suit.

[Comm Break, which includes several more brief pieces of conversation, most of them unintelligible out of context.]
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[The astronauts are now on the top of surface checklist 2-4. They are taking Aarons space suit from its stowing place, since he will be the first to suit up.]

117:01:26 Dennis: (To Houston) You should see me hold up this 50-pound pressure suit with one hand while Aaron is unzipping it with one hand. That's really neat.

117:01:45 Houston: Right. You should bring some of that one-sixth g back here.

117:01:53 Dennis: Yeah. You Earth people don't know how nice this is.

(Pause)

117:04:29 Houston: Aaron, Houston.

117:04:35 Dennis: Aaron is just putting on his suit. Just a minute.

[Aaron wriggles his body into his bulky pressure suit. Dennis has to assist him.]

117:05:10 Aaron: My legs are through… wait a minute, let me bend this way…

117:05:21 Dennis: Okay.

117:06:01 Aaron: I need a little relief on my left arm… okay… now my right arm… I’m in…

117:06:25 Dennis: Sleek, flexible hunk.

[With his tall but sleek figure, Aaron has less difficulties getting into his pressure suit inside the cramped LM than many other astronauts.]

117:07:59 Houston: Aaron, Houston. Don’t forget to connect your UCD tube.

117:08:10 Aaron: Medical harness and UCD connectors locked (as per checklist page 2-4). I’ll now get my head through the neckring.

117:08:30 Dennis: Okay. Be careful with your snub nose.

[With his 28 years, Aaron will be the youngest moonwalker so far. In his mission dialogues, Dennis often refers to the youth and the great looking appearance of his mate.]

117:09:01 Aaron: Okay, I’m through.

117:09:50 Dennis: Suit fits correctly?

117:10:10 Aaron: Think so. Ah, my neckring is not centered … still presses against my chin … have to adjust the relief strap.

(Pause)

117:11:14 Dennis: Okay, ready to close your pressure zipper (checklist 2-4) ?

117:11:27 Aaron: Yeah.

[Dennis starts to close the airtight, pressure-sealing entry zipper on the back of Aaron’s suit, creating an audible zipping sound.]

117:11:59 Aaron: Ah, that sounds good. I tell you, it feels so amazing to be sealed in.

117:12:16 Dennis: You are looking great, son.

117:12:30 Aaron: Thanks, babe.
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[Comm Break. They are getting Dennis into his suit and then don their lunar boots as per checklist 2-5].

117:37:30 Aaron: Feels like that boot is on, Dennis. (Pause) Okay. Dennis, you got hold of a foot some way ... in your gear.

117:37:58 Dennis: Okay.

117:38:12 Aaron: That’s a boy’s dream coming true. I now wear my astronaut’s boots for my first moonwalk. Hope I can keep my juices under control.

117:38:56 Dennis: I’m with you. I shot my first load at age 12, during a dream of suiting up for my first lunar EVA!

117:39:33 Aaron: Oh boy, we share the same feelings. I often jerked off to fantasies like that, too.

117:40:01 Dennis: It’s so good to be up here together with a like-minded spaceman.

117:40:19 Aaron: But I’m now a bit worried about my mobility. I will walk on the moon with a full scale hard-on. Hope it won’t get too inconvenient.

117:40:55 Dennis: I had that problem prior to launch, when we walked to the pad, helmeted, gloved and pressurized. That was really challenging for me.

117:41:21 Aaron: Oh boy, I almost got a J/O experience when they strapped and buckled us into our couches aboard the CSM capsule.

117:41:48 Dennis (giggling): That’s the reason for your strange medical sensor data.

117:41:50 Aaron: I had some time of relaxation after the capsule had been sealed. But I got hard again when we were getting closer to lift-off. I was tingly all over during final countdown and liftoff. And I kept my hard-on big all the way up to orbit.

117:42:13 Dennis: I think we share a really deep personal dedication to our mission. Last steps on Earth with a hard-on, so we will also be hard during our first steps on the moon!

117:43:03 Aaron: Let’s try to find an opportunity for shooting our loads into the UCDs during the EVA. Possibly in a synchronized way in a comm break. I think that would be the most joyful experience in my life.

117:43:35 Dennis: What an amazing idea! Will be maximum joy for both of us!

[End of Comm Break]
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